It's that time of year again and whilst none of us know who we are buying for it's never to early to get advertising.
For those of you who don't now, the principle is that everybody buys a christmas present for one given person. This is to be done, more or less in secret as no one is to reveal who they are buying for until after the presents are opened. Since we only get one present, it pays to advertise and hopefully get something you really want (not just socks and pencils, which no one really wants (or do they......))!
As we have not had our letters yet this year, we do not know how the global financial crises has affected Kris kindle, but one expects that the value of the present will be around the €50 which it has been previous years.
Word has it that it's back to singles this year, and I believe that the rules do state that you do not end up buying for your partner.
The Kris kindle post last year generated 74 comments (some hilarious, some total nonsense and some hilariously nonsensical), let's keep up the tradition.
4 weeks today.
14 years ago
82 comments:
From last year's experience I would like to suggest a(n early enough) deadline for hints. Some people gave their hints so late last year, that there was no chance for the present to arrive for Christmas, which was a shame.
But it's your own da*n fault if you don't give hints on time, and then get your present sometime in April...
Also, there's a postal strike in this part of the world so post moves very slowly at the moment. Although international bank trasfers do work and save a lot on the postage fees...
Why not just give us all the 50€ now and save us all a lot of trouble?
Could we come up with a theme for how the presents should be asked for - although my wife strongly objects to hints in the forms of limericks or poems that she can't understand, it would be a little bit more fun than just:
My present is x and it's on this website: www.aloadofoldcobblers. idiot for 49.99
Can't think of any sensible or insensible suggestions at the moment.
How about all suggestions should be in Latin?
Or all suggestions in sonnet form, in the style of Bill Shakes his spear (ooeer...)
The only trouble with the above suggestion is that with very vague and unclear suggestions you may end up getting (your only present!) something you DO NOT want at all!!!
I fully agree to most of the above (or is it below?), especially the bit about not giving hints too late...
I'l think you find, but I could be wrong and often is....... that those of us who give criptic hints have normally narrowed it down to an exact item long before others, who simply give there "hints" too late.
Although I strongly dissagree to any suggestions of simply giving money, that's definately not in the spirit of things...
Why don't we simply list all the things we don't want?
Hang on one of my comments has gone missing - who is responsible for this debacle, I put a lot of effort into that one!!!
You mean this one? I don't know what happened, it came to me as an e-mail. and NO, I do not agree.
So why not then have two deadlines - the first one for the keen poets society types to write their suggestion in disguised form, and the other for the lazy and boring b*****s to just buy it themselves and get a money transfer?
In fact I vote that we all just buy ourselves a 50€ present. This has the advantages that:
1. You get what you want.
2. It's the right size.
3. If it's late you know whom to blame.
4. There's no trouble with the possibility of your buyer disapproving of the purchase.
5. No postage trouble.
6. You're not likely to end up purchasing for your spouse.
7. What you're getting will be a surprise to everyone else.
8. You can still leave hints galore and silly misleading comments, poems, limericks, dirty jokes as much as you want.
9. If you buy it early enough, you may have forgotten what you bought, and subsequently be pleasantly surprised at christmas.
10. You don't have to put on a fake smile on Christmas day as you open the present and discover it's exactly what you didn't want.
Anyone else in favour?
Thank you for that, a bit weird that it ended up in your email.
I suspect you're suffering from the same problem as I am, when I try to write in English, my brain is still thinking in Finnish, and I start using Finnish grammatical structure - I'm not sure the sentence 'I'l think you find, but I could be wrong and often is', probably won't stand up to the test of O. Lyons and A. Mackillop...
I also have a tendancy to start Englanniksi ja lopeta suomeksi
(to start in English and end in Finnish).
Not sure if this has anything to do with kris kindle, but there you go.
Can we have kris kindles that can be sung to hymn tunes/pop songs etc - or does that give some of us too much of an advantage?
I know - my clue wil be a piece of music that can only be deciphered by being performed, written probably for the bagpipes, a didgeridoo, and a castrato. That should keep you all guessing...
BTW, I've nothing better to do on a Friday night, sadly.
Funnily enough, Mother of all and Our Father, have just finished watching an episode on dvd of Brideshead Revisited and wondered what to do next. Having got fed up with googling redundant organs and Gauge O railways, we suddenly thought of Norwegian Wood and have been pleasantly amused ever since. Love the pic of FBS on skis........
Now we are trying to think what we need around €50. Pencils possibly or socks or maybe slippers for walking on the wood hewn from the Oaks beside the
Brooks of Haughton. (None of which Our Father ever got) But he's not complaining!
We're racking our brains to do this thing in rhyming couplets or in Latin or goobledegook, so watch this space.
May I point out that in all that chit chat no one made any helpful suggestions???
For my Kris Kringle
I shall compose a Christmas Jingle
With a tune quite familiar
And words quite similiar
To let you know
How far I will go
To create a list
For exactly what i wish.
The end
Does anyone ever make any helpful suggestions?
BTW we need a new smoke extractor for our baking oven. Anybody got 500€ to spare - I've tried repairing and rebuildng the old one, and it's still jamming, leading to large clouds of smoke entering the house. The design of the flues is basically wrong. Still, at least I know what the problem is, albeit expensive.
Right, now I know who I'm buying for. This year I shall keeep the letter in a safe place, so I don't forget who I'm buying for...
Anybody else write on this blog - or am I the only one?
Nope, I'm the only one....
I dont want alot for christmas,
There is just one thing I need,
I don't care about the presents,
Underneath the pussies wee,
I just want one for my own,
More than you can ever know,
Make my wish come true,
All I want for christmas is
Us 2 :-)
Its the five years on book of the original book made by The Ray D'arcy show on today fm. And this year all the Hathaways and Mum and Dad might even be in it.....oh and don't forget the star of the show....The Tricycle!
Now Richard its just you and me and I'm the only one with an idea.
And so I shall now go and spend another 2 weeks composing my second wish :-)
Great initiative, and great poem.
Come on the rest of you - let's get on with it shall we?
Sorry,
We were at the west coast for a few days last week and we've had no Telephone/internet at home for the last 2 weeks..
But now we're back....
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, (no sorry,this is the song for bls' no 3).....
or
I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus underneath the Christmas Tree last night, (no, sorry, that one is the song for any of the smallies)....
How about, But diamonds is a girl's best friend or is it diamonds are a girl's best friend?
Any way, whichever way it is, I have a desire for something a little bit on the gorgeous side, suitable to adorn a neck or wrist. Not diamonds actually, as that's way beyond the budget, but something that glitters and is to keep.
This year, I feel I want something less practical than usual........
Yay 2 suggestions and only 35 days left until christmas!!!!!
I seem to remember a christmas song Kevin 'bloody' Wilson, that sums up the disappointment of christmas rather well.
It's rather x-rated, but if you want to listen, it's here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UY0YEica8A
A bit closer to the bone than mummy kissing santa claus...
Father of all intends to challenge you all with another puzzle, 'Oh no, not again!' do I hear?
This will be delivered by e mail. First correct solution will be nominated Brain of Beeston 2010.
Good luck. I bet someone solves it in less time than it took me to compose it.
Mother of all tells me I'm 'Our Father'. Sorry, forgot, so will go by either for this year.
I think you will find I am the brain of beeston :-) Father of all is a genius!!!
ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
(melody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibdZwMDykbc)
We do want a lot for Christmas
There's more than one thing we need
We do care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
Still don't spend to many pounds
First Born Son will not pounce
Make our wish come true
Keep on singing this song...
Trough
First of all we have a big wish
That is simple to fulfill
We just need ta list from parents
of the things their children need
Don't forget the size and shape
if it's clothing that they need
Santa Claus won't buy the presents
So Mrs VL need some help
Mr VL is out of control
More than you could ever know
Make their wish come true
All they want for Christmas post
You
First Born Son asks much for Christmas
Probably a lot of toys
I'm just gonna list a few things
That is in my mind right now
Next he's ninety eight to hundred
Wool is good in winter land
He will likely stay awake to
Hear his Daddy read some books
Soundbooks for the car's allright
Scrapbook for his stickers bright
Fancy Brio elements
Volvo XE90 is good..
Too
As for the Kris Kindle wishing
The listing comes right here
A washbag for my travels
Taking articles clear
And cook timer ringing
Some quality woolies from Finland
LBS will you bring me some suitable hariclippers
Please bring some L'Occitane to me.....
We do want a lot for Christmas
It should all be easy now
We do care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
Still don't spend to many pounds
Ireland is in crisis proud
Make our wish come true
This should all be clear to...
You...
This should all be clear to ....you... (repeat and fade)
I'm guessing that what you would like for christmas, father of all, is something made from the substance created when a sheep is shorn, and is then in the form of the (not small) gap where we sung 'It's a long way to Tipperary' for the benefit of a Finnish male voice choir, after watching a rally.
I know what it is, but if any of you out there need some help, one of the three unused letters is Q.
I don't think 1-3-11-10-9-12 forms a recognisable word.
No, sorry just found out that it relates to a part of the ordinarium, sung in olden times, but more usually spoken in one voice nowadays. (Shouldn't it be 1-3-11-11-10-9-12?)
Do I get the prize, or how do I prove I've solved it, without letting the small furry animal out of the enclosed space?
Christmas is coming,
the goose is getting fat,
I have a moustache
and that's the end of that.....
My list is short..
DVD Box set of "The Pacific" - HBO WWII adventure like band of brothers...seen in Golden Discs for €40 and Amazon have it too
or cheaper new Robin Hood same actor as Gladiator?
Nexpresso coffee machine is running great, so more coffee always welcome..
Green Fortissio Lungo
Golden Livanto
Bronze Rosabaya
Brown Roma
www.nespresso.com or Brown Thomas in Cork. member number 456565
As a laugh I am somewhat jealous of my eldest son's lounge pants for the rare occasion that I get to go in front of telly, something soft and cosy....
What! Who let you grow a moustache??
Wow...... Lots of activity today
I really have to say
Some of you have done us proud
and really said it out aloud.
Now we need the remaining few
to spit it out and give a clue.
So come on, stop the chatter
and give us some real matter.
After we can have a proper natter
before we get any fatter!
This is drivel I know,
but I can't stop the flow.
The muse has woken up at last
and I'm making up for the past
which was very short of rhyme
when I was in my prime.
This is actually a plea
to get the rest of you to see
that Christmas is coming
the goose is getting fat
P.J's got a moustache
and that's the end of that.
P.S. The moustache is for a good cause. Its Movember here in Ireland and Prostate Cancer awareness month so loads of fellows are sporting moustaches. P.J's is very distinguished looking BTW.
Christmas is coming and
I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Please give me a razor
so I can get rid of the tickle!
If you open Pandora's box
there's a lot of choice for me
I can be easily charmed
by one of these, you see.
I'm also in a bit of a squash
for something to hold my stuff
cos when I'm hot and sweaty
a polly bag just is'nt enough!
Someone asked for the sizes of our juniors... Here they are in case someone needs them:
1. 140 cm (female)
2. 120 cm (female)
3. 90 cm (male)
Please help me with the abbreviations, LBS=little big sister, correct? Mr VL was confused I think when he thought it was the son in London. What is he called?
I'm afraid I'm not feeling very poetic at the moment... so I will leave that to the more talented ones. Instead I shall be clear and to the point:
I have thought of a few things I'd like but unfortunately they're not wonderfully postage friendly (such as new fishes for our fish tank! Preferably live...)
Something that I would really like (but I fear that this may not be possible to find within the agreed prize range) is a new sleeping bag which would fill ALL (this is important!)of the following criteria
1. Be light weight, ie. no more than 1 kg,
2. folds up really small ie. isn't the standard big & bulky model which fills a third of the ruck sack,
3. is ok to sleep in down to temperates +0, and
4. isn't made out of real feathers as a few of my co-campers would spend all of the night sneezing...
The situation at the moment is that we do have enough sleeping bags but they all have something "wrong" with them when our whole family goes camping. They are either too big & bulky (a bit of a problem when you have two adults carrying 5 sleeping bags,a tent and all the food) or they are no good with heat resistance when the temperature drops during the night close to zero so you end up freezing in them.
But I fear that the sort of sleeping bag I'm looking for maybe too expensive for Kris Kindle (I haven't even had a look around the shops for prices).
An alternative and also more postage friendly idea might be homeopathic creams (available for example from www.helios.co.uk). The creams that I would like are:
Arnica cream
Calendula cream
Hypericum & Calendula cream
Then a not very postage friendly hint is that... my umbrella has broken...
Also a lot of my everyday use brown and black socks have holes in them...(size 40).
I'm little big sister!
Sizes for my crew:
No.1-Small adult male
No.2-152 or sometimes size 8 adult
No.3- 128
No.4- 104
Forgot to include the Pandora's box clue (see LBS) in my song. Better start collecting too, so the swan gets some company.
BTW did anyone manage to sing the song?? Worked quite hard to make a reasonable fit to the melody.
Would be great with a bit more than only sizes.
F of All, thanks for creating entertainment for me yesterday when Mr VL was working in the barn (again...).
Due to technical reasons, the othercoldones Kriskringle wishlist will not be posted until Friday.
Please do not adjust your set.
Yes Mrs VL, we did manage to sing the tune to your excellent words. I also tried to get up the youtube version, but failed dismally. Don't know what I was doing wrong.
Our Father or Father of All and I were giving out that the 3 fellas haven't posted any suggestions yet. So I hope your technical reasons are well sorted by Friday, TOCO. After all you started the whole thing by asking people not to leave it till the last minute.
Must rush as we have Time's Offspring to perform followed very quickly by Messiah. Do we need our heads checked or what!
It's not yet the last minute, there's still, as I write this,
... only 30 Days, 2 Hours, 28 Minutes, and 9 Seconds!
Ho ho ho!
Mrs VL was asking for more than just sizes... ok, here are a few suggestions:
Our girls would probably love the Ravensburger (!, note that it's not The Orb Factory or Orchard game bearing the same name) game called
"Enchanted Forest Game". Haven't found it available anywhere else than www.amazon.co.uk...
The girls also love anything to do with Zhu Zhu pets.
Our younger daughter likes hand bags that you can hang over your shoulder and the older one slightly bigger bags that would hold an A4 size folder. Also scarves (that you'd wear indoors) e.g. H &M stuff, would go down well.
Our son has to put up with a lot of pink & girly stuff around him... so anything more boyish would be greatly appreciated by him (or by his father). By the way he (the son) is a fan of Bob the Builder... (has got one book& a few videos). On the clothing front
fleece jackets are always good, as would be a bath robe, socks, pants...
Is that any more helpful Mrs VL?
Great TOCO, thanks!
Have to appologise to Kid sister gone.... for taking your tune. I just realised now. Sorry.
mean MRS
I was going to ask for a new set of spot lights for the Suzuki follwing a disagreement with a couple of erm, badly placed fence post that jumped out of the side of the lane whilst I went erm........... Sliding........... past but that present idea may become irrelavant in the near future........
Anyway, I have some ideas, so who ever is waiting for me, be paitient.....
Our Father (the Old Blogger)
A TENDER Rhyme
To whom it may concern
My luck's just taken a turn
So just let me explain
It's all about my toy train...
Just like this blundering nation
My theme is restoration
One engine I intend to mend
To polish and unbend,
Will be all renewed and neat
With clockwork motor complete.
YET sad to me the mender
The engine lacks - a TENDER.
Now just by some strange chance
Which makes my spirit dance
(A poet I ne'er wert)
I came upon an advert
Which will a solution render
- an advert for - a TENDER
What concerns me most
Is, of course, the cost
(n.b. cost and most should rhyme - like wind and kind - what a weird language!)
But keep my hope alive
Its 49.35. (pounds sterling)
Which slightly stretches the purse
The difference I'll re-imburse
As this poem's getting worse
I'll give up on the verse.......
So - if my kind donor has not found me a woolly vee necked sheep by - product article, (which, of course, will still be welcome)
or anything else, the TENDER would make a great pressie.
I can blog the details re payment if requested, anonymously, Would be a matter of sending a cheque to the seller, but I'd need to know by Monday, as I intend to get it anyway.
Hint No 1
Sung to 'Cranham', by Gustav Theodore Holst
In the bleak midwinter TOCO went outside,
All was Dark and silent, minus 25.
Some illumination, that would be just grand,
the torch I cannot cope with, 'cos I need both hands.
It would be most brilliant, if upon my head,
I could light up my work, whilst not in the shed.
Wide beam and a focus, that would be just fine,
In the bleak midwinter, this would make it shine!
PS From the petzl range would do nicely
Hint no 2
Pilot: I'm going to need more thrust...
Copilot: I'll set it on the master...
Pilot: Good! Right behind us is a T.16000 M!
Copilot: That's alright, I'll make short work of him with this joystick!
The buyer can make the big decision, should I get something practical (Hint no 1) or something to aid my enjoyment of flight simulators...(Hint no 2)
Hint no 3
In hint no 2, use the last word of each line to come up with the goodies!
the other cold one sounds like hes looking for a toy that would not be suitable in the presence of children.......
Yes, I've often wondered why it's called a petzl - is it for going boldly to places where no man has ventured before?
Oh, yes, you were talking about the joystick thingy!
In other news, our dishwasher decided to follow its recently deceased cousins the hob and the smoke extractor, and stopped working. Or at least, sometimes the drying mechanism stuck and blew the fuse, and then later on it seemed to work, but everything inside was dirtier when it came out. So it was of to Gigantti, the local mega hardware store to purchase a new one, again for the tidy sum of 500 hard earned euros. I set about removing the old one, to discover that the fitted kitchen seems to have been built around the dishwasher, and the whole thing is built on the foundations, not the floor. So there's a lip of about 14mm to get over, thanks to our solid wood floor, and no room between the worktop and the dishwasher. So I'll have to unplumb the sink, and unscrew the worktop from the frames in order to lift out the dishwasher. Still, once it's out, the new one should go in then. If you hear screaming and cursing coming over the cold northerly winds, you'll know why. At this rate I'll have to start my blog again.
Yes, of course, putting thrust, master, and joystick, together with two pilots was bound to cause some grief. I've become such a prude of late that I hadn't even thought of the implications of making short work of mastering the thrust of your joystick...
TOCO, if it's any consulation we've parted with almost 5 times that amount today because of a litle bit of rust (all the big bits had already fallen off) and 2 broken spot lights. In the process we have solved the problem of how to fetch BIL, BLS et al from the Airport.........
I promise my idea will be up soon BTW, now that I've finally finished in the barn....
Most likely it will be a local or Internet purchase so who-ever it is doesn't need to panic.
If TOCO has a problem
in the bed department
a bit of stimulation
is better than simulation!
Alright, some songs for you then:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a84L1hVVEls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuAEGJCLN1A
I can assure you that this is a problem that I've yet to encounter...
My Christmas wishes, I have three,
So three clues there must be,
to convey my wish i need a mode,
so hear they are, but in a code.
The first code now! to start you off,
is not to hard, not too tough,
to start, a clue I will arrange,
letters' order is what must change.
,ecaf ylkcirp rof ,tfos dna eciN
,ecart a tuohtiw ,draeb a evahs ot
,riah regdab fo hsurb a deen I
.raeb ot erohc on gnivahs ekam ot
The next code should be less easy,
'less a linguist, you should be,
my language skills! don't be impressed,
i asked a friend! but had you guessed?
Nicht zu groß und nicht zu klein
so soll mein Kulturbeutel sein
elegant aber doch auch smart
für die Reise und für die Fahrt.
The third code is hardest of them all,
where intrepid breakers could fall,
if it proves too tough for you,
ask! and you will get a clue!
Uijt jt xifsf uif kpvsofz tupqt,
Bewbodfe Ipnfxpsdl gps Hspxo-vqt,
opx J'wf nbef zpv xpsl zpvs csbjo, nz uvso!
uijt cppl nz pxo xjmm usbjo!
If Our Father (the old blogger) thought he'd made life difficult with his code word, its nothing to the above from our Roving Minstrel. No wonder we had to wait a long time for his hints. Now I'll be up all night trying to sort it. I see it includes a bottom burp. Can't think what he wants for that problem unless its a cork. So now we have hints from all but one......come on VL. Your turn!
BTW. You may like to know that Times Offspring and Messiah have happened and I can relax now.. Or can I? Now its time to get Christmas off the ground. If only it would warm up. How do you northener's manage. We're crippled by minus temps and snow/ rain every so often. It's clobbering everything we want to do. We were so lucky that it was slightly warmer on Saturday and all the musicians got to the Church and we had a modest audience too. Have probably made a loss though. Do people turn out to concerts in the winter up north, or do you do than all in the summer?
heehee. I dont need to break the codes....He made it all up infront of me. Its like being mother of all with our father. heehee.
Just to throw a few more random things on the table for me.....
I dropped my hair dryer on the floor and it fell apart. It hasnt sounded the same ever since!!!! Or worked nearly as well. a new one with a really skinny nozel would be appreciated.
I like to read but have run out of books. The stieg larson books did nothing for me. Stick to a good rom com or mystery book....
My car is great but majorly lacks a break down kit....I wish for a high vis vest, an emergency triangle and a small first aid kit. Don´t worry if its not in my stocking I´ll have to get the car its own christmas present. I do have a funky shake it torch so thats ok.
Now if ur still stuck for things for me then tough....
Who on earth is the roving minstrel, or do we have a new member of the family that I don't know about...
Nope, it is London Son, who feels that his old title is probably not appropriate seeing as he spends far more time on the road than in London, suggestions for other names are very welcome (I'm useless at that sort of thing)...
ps anyone cracked verse three?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
The Finnish branch of the kriskindle has:
a) managed to remember who they're buying for,
b) Deciphered the inane and wandering versicles that masquerade as hints
c) Purchased said items
d) posted them to the relevant addresses.
and only 17 Days, 6 Hours, 13 Minutes, and 6 Seconds of purchasing time left!
Do we get some sort of prize for being in the vanguard?
(This from those who have forgotten each others birthdays, only remembered their 10th wedding anniversary because someone else sent a card...)
In other news, I was loading the (Brand New, only used once) dishwasher last night, and when I was touching the metal inner surface and the sink at the same time got an electric shock...
So it's back to washing up by hand, de-constructing the working surface to remove the machine and check the cable isn't under the machine and exposed, and calling the Bosch helpline.
Still, better I got a mild shock than a small child of my acquaintance.
To TOCO, so sorry to hear that you have dishwasher trouble. We hope its not too long before the whole thing is sorted.
You haven't answered my question about night time events in the cold in Finland. We are still clobbered here. Can't come and go easily at all. Hence, far from having everything deciphered, purchased and sent, we are sitting at home looking on frost and ice and feeling somewhat useless. They say its warming up tomorrow, but I'll believe when it happens. Meanwhile, congratulations on being so far of the posse. Its very impressive.
And I do believe that VL has still not put anything up....... So as TOCO says ther is only 17 days etc left to sort things out.
PS No LS aka The Roving Minstrel I haven't got verse 3 sorted yet. Maybe need that clue?
Line one is:
This is where the journey stops...
see if that helps!
TOCO, You've bought my present before I've even old you what I want or were you possibly notr buying for me??????
It would be easier,
were the Euro Stronger,
or if you prefer
were the kroner weaker
But as it is
it isn't is it
so as is practice
I'll refund as fit
On Friday evenings
And Saturdays too
I like relaxing
and having a brew.
Grain based with hops
and fermented
not at all alcopops
additives excluded
From time to time
I save some Kroner
time not money mine
better to than Corona
The problem is these
that I can't bottle
like the Breweries
can (my topple)
Now it's all about
a bit of gas
one nearly nout
the other has.
A special tap
with a small cannister
could just perhaps
give me the answer......
Clue no.2 tomorrow, as I have previously said, and keeping consideration to postage/luggage, this will be an internet purchase which you can send direct...
I've crack all your codes Roving minstrel bit wtd is Ipnfxpsdl
Spelling mistake in code?????
As you already know,Viking Longship, I can read you mind, and guessed that it would be something related to alcohol (and the preparation thereof!!!!)
Good of you to leave a hint though.
In reply to the concert going question, as we're living in sub-zero temperatures for quite long periods of time, daily life goes on as normal. When it gets below -25, then it has an effect, but otherwise heavy snowstorms can physically slow the whole thing down. So no, I don't think adverse weather conditions have much effect here. For instance, right now it's - 15 outside, I've just spent an hour with all the kids on the lake outside clearing the snow so they can skate, and now i'm sitting here inside in a t-shirt. With quadruple glazing, and a serious heating system, as well as the baking oven having been lit, the indoor temperature is usually between 21 and 25 - ie. warm!
BTW, I don't know who anonymous (above) is, and maybe they have cracked the code, but I'm not sure how, since their grasp of the niceties of English grammar and spelling leaves some room for improvement. The curse of facebook and text messaging is upon us.
Dear annonymouse!
You have indeed cracked my code, and well spotted on the spelling mistake, the last d should not be there, the word should read: Ipnfxpsl (the first letter is a capital i)
Just to let everyone know, I will now be spending Christmas in London and not Cork as previously thought. As this is a last minute decision I will not be upset if KK pressie ends up in the wrong country, but if it is being sent and has not yet been done, you will need my address,
am I allowed post it here?
Too late Roving Minstrel,
Your KK is already on it's way to the worng country....
I think I know who has bought the roving minstrel's present for him...
Or is this another cunning move by Anonymous to disguise their real identity?
Our dishwasher works again, without the assistance of the Bosch technicians. The cable wasn't caught under the machine, but I suspected that the rather elderly looking socket under the sink wasn't up to much. So I plugged the machine in to a socket that I knew was earthed, and hey presto, not a shock in sight!
So a quick call to Electric Johnny (Really, that's the company's name..) and half an hour installing a new socket, and we were up and running. These jobs need to be done by a qualified electrician, for insurance purposes, and, since our electrics are over 30 years old, the colour coding is different from modern styles. We also have both an earthed system, and an unearthed system in use, which is now illegal, but the nice man said that there's not much can be done about it, since it's already in place. It's a bit like the Landrover passing the MOT without seatbelts, because it never had any.
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
When will I get it?
(.)
Perhaps before New year or
even before christmas although
that
is optomistic at
this stage.
(-)
A tap for my homebrew
giving fizz
every time
now that's what I'm
talking about,
under pressure and
re-usable
(.)
Now then some-
one help me out...
PN+x+y=7871
2PN+x-y=14836
PN+2x+3y=8705
Find PN
P.S.
I fully understand if my present turns up after christmas....
Maybe my KK can find this product in there own country but ordering on T'internet directly from Norway is not a bad idea.....
If you need language help then ask annonymously (as long as you know what a nettbutikk is, you'll get a long way)!!!!
Our Father
I've solved the triple simultaneous equations, but ended up with a NEGATIVE PN. Can't be right, so must try again in the am when I'm awake!
By the way, spelling is THEIR in context above ( ie their own country). mumble mumble Mr Olie failed again.
netbuttock - no nettbutikk - what the - ?
PN>0
x>0
y>0
When I solved them I got a positive PN (but then I did already know the answer)... I'll have to have another look and see if there is 2 solutions????
The clue is in the link
And apologies for any grammatical errors, dere kan være takknemlig at jeg ikke skrev det hele på norsk........
Thank you to the prompt poster from Ireland (we guessed that much from the postage stamps). We have already received a large package from Ireland, nicely wrapped and efficiently labelled so as to disguise the identity of the sender. Thank you anyway, and we hope that the presents for the descendents of BIL and LBS/BLS, and also VL minor have arrived.
I had a smokesauna yesterday, and sat in a hot tub outside in -18 - it was great.
We have snow here too, quite a thick layer(for Ireland) and more to come and minus 5 temps forecast! I hope there is'nt a parcel coming for my descendants and that there has been a breakdown in communication between yourself and Mrs TOCO because an agreement had been made between myself and Mrs TOCO!If not, mine will get double presents and yours none. Oops!!!
Erm.. dunno, present buying and organising is usually left to that wonder of efficiency, Mrs TOCO...
Anonymous says to VL
By de way, if a big, heavy, long and thin package arrives at your door before Christmas Day, it might just be a Kriskingle, so please don't open until Dec 25 (or is Dec 24 you're opening day?
Signed
A.N.O'Nymous (who, for security reasons can't be named.
Can we enliven proceedings by having an online guess who has bought for us, now that we have received our presents (or at least some of us have).
Both of the KK's that we've got so far have arrived from Ireland, so that rules out 3 of the rest of you already (doubting that the roving minstrel would be organised enough to leave the KK for posting in Ireland.)
By the wrapping on the large square package, and also the use of a printer to disguise the sender, we can deduce that the sender is A) probably male, and B) computer literate.
So that can only mean BIL, since the only other male in Ireland (AKA the mad model builder) has a definite aversion to all things modern.
The other, soft, caring package has a definite female presence to it, with the beautifully home made star as the tag pointing strongly in that direction. The handwriting would also point to the cooker of Geese BLS.
Although I'm probably as far off the beaten track as possible... Anybody else got any suggestions?
There may have been a cunning plan, of course, to disguise the identity of said purchaser even further, in which case I don't have a clue!
(I once sent a joke to my friend Matt Chadder in England, written across the back of seven postcards, which were then given to willing female college friends (Ahh, those were the days!), and posted from various different parts of Ireland! He replied by sending a carefully wrapped empty toothpaste tube carton, which when cut open revealed his letter.
To say nothing of the great deviser of postal scrabble!!!
A.N.O'Nymous
Some one cunningly disguising DEM self as Kid Sister.....
Most intruiging...... Either
A:) You have correctly decifered my codes and I will get exactly what I wanted.
B:) You have incorrectly decifered my codes and I will get exactly something other than what I wanted.....
or
C:) You gave up waiting, failed miserably or simply couldn't be ar4ed and I will get something totally unrelated to A:) or B:)....
and why was my word verification mispelled spelled badly?
TOCO et al.....
I know,
1: Who was the KK purchasing a present for my wife, 'cos they carefully wrote their name on her present.............
2: That my present is not from some-one in Finland, unless you are pulling a very elaborate double bluff.
3: I am assuming that my present is not from Kid Sister because one would assume that if she was trying to hide her identity she would not write "de", being the only person who writes "de" de rest of the time.
4: I know who I am buying for (does that help?)
and even when I recieve my present, I am assuming that is is coming from a Norwegian internet shop so will I ever know?
If I was to place my bets, it would be with a male, directly related to me (not by marriage)and not living in Finland and either 10 years younger than me or many years older than me...........
In the time I've written this codswollop I could have written our Christmas message which will appear soon.......
Ar nAthair says
Ho! Ho! Ho! - no, sorry, that was Santy -
Ar nAthair says
VL's detective work is most impressive - Sherlock be warned.
As for me I've no idea what's going on (so what's new?) and not a notion who my donor could be. No evidence of KKs in this house - only frozen pipes and smokey stoves.
Went to Mid Col Christmas Dinner today. Only a few of the old faces there, even since BLS's time there.
My better half is getting a bit feminist these days, see below:
Indeed and I am!
What's all this about only males being computer literate and also why does VL assume his has to come from a male directly related to him. Couldn't a female have arrange something through the internet shop?
And I have a message for whoever sent the KK for London Son aka the Roving Minstrel. As he is not roving back to Cork for Christmas, his KK has been forwarded to him in London.
Like Ar nAthair, I have no idea what or which or how my KK is coming. Its all very exciting!
PS. TOCO you remind me of a small child spending his time ferreting under the tree trying to find out what's in the parcels and counting how many for himself.
So its nearly all over. What fun we have had.
Only LBS is waiting for her KK as far as we can tell unless the afore mentioned long thin parcel failed to arrive yet.........
Everyone is VERY happy with their pressies, especially this scribe. I've the most beautiful piece of jewellery, timeless and elegant and it will be much treasured.
Thank you and good night.
I'm a bit late aren't i? Hm, that drags and sucks. Meh, I want to be in next year. But how will the person not get that it's from me as it would clearly say 'Australia' on it? Besides, did I actually get this right? We send a present - to you? - and you pass it on to someone we have chosen? Who organizes it? Do we have designated people? Um... And the questions roll in!
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